bringing boredom back

It's possible for boredom to deliver us to our best selves, the ones that long for risk and illumination and unspeakable beauty. 

        Nancy H Blakey

My little girl first uttered the words 'I'm bored' before she hit three. Where did she pick it up from? Peppa Pig I fear... She didn't really know what it meant but it still stopped me in my tracks. Bored? You're two for heaven's sake. Go and stare at a ladybird or something. 


I can hardly remember feeling bored as a child (outside of a hardware shop that is. God, the crippling agony of a weekend trip to B&Q). Instead I remember day-dreaming, making up stories, sitting on the stairs and looking at the rainbows on my eyelashes. I remember lying on my bed and breathing in the wonderful smell of the freshly laundered sheets, I remember watching the dust float in the sunlight in my Nan's house as I listened to her singing in the kitchen, I remember letting my mother's silver chain heap up onto my palm over and over again because I loved the way it felt. Hell, I remember those 'boring' moments as being as close to the very essence of childhood as you can get. Carefree and imaginative, moments lacking structure but full of life and potential. Blissful moments. 


Giving my little girl the space to fill her own time and head with things and thoughts of her own making is surely important. The TV, structured play, puzzles and craft activities all have their place but so should those moments where there's absolutely nothing to do at all. Same goes for me too. 


So we're turning off the TV and putting away the craft stuff- we're bringing back boredom! We need more of it. At least for an hour or two.

keep it simple

 Easier said than done for sure. Though these days I've realised that it's more about the state of things inside my head rather than of those outside it.

Shit, I've got all that Lego to play with, and colouring to do, and my nose needs picking...

 Look at Edie, kids can do it easy peasy. Kids and dogs, lucky things. I'm eating. I'm playing.  I'm running. I'm kickin' back on my settee watching a DVD. No bullshit running through their brains at a hundred miles an hour. 

 Albert Einstein said, 

'Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler'.

 But we've always got to make things more complicated than they are. I'm always doing this, making simple things as hard as possible, letting them stew and rolling them around in my head until they're a mass of bubbling complexity. 

 I said I was going to be brave this year. Now I want my mantra to be,  

Be brave, think less. 

Although I suppose that's kinda making things more complicated, damn...

Right now I'm reading...

...Luella's Guide to English Style

 'From the sheer rock and rollness of Marianne Faithfull to the 
epitome of English aristocracy, the Duchess of Devonshire, feeding her chickens in pearls and Wellingtons...'
Luella Bartley

 Finally getting around to reading Luella Bartley's Luella's Guide to English Style. So far so good. I've been making little notes on the pages in pencil which is making me feel very naughty (I've always been a good girl when it comes to looking after books) so I have lots of quotes and things to inspire me saved up. Like this one!

 'Money-is-no-object thinking comes at a price. Too much cash means zero creativity and none of the groundwork or lineage needed to figure out what makes a good status purchase. You're not going to find your true self poncing around Harvey Nichols until you've done your apprenticeship in the markets, high street, charity shops and jumble sales, experimenting, altering, and making proper, individual, out-there choices - and mistakes.'
Luella Bartley

 In that case, my apprenticeship seems to be taking forever.

 Here's another great quote that rang true with me (especially right now this minute with my rained on, tangled mess of a hair-do)-
 
'...hair is one of the most telling signs of true English style and the brush is it's worse enemy...'

 
 The book itself is gorgeous too, with an aged look and a bright pink elastic band to keep your page. Genius!

 This book does feel a little like a text book (that's probably why I feel the need to deface it with scribbles in the margins) but it's certainly got me thinking about the joys of style-individuality and the evils of style-globalisation. Luella's love of clothes and dressing up is clear and her excitement and enthusiasm are infectious. If you're a lover of fashion and style books like me then you could do worse than with this addition to the collection.

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time."

Edith Wharton

Well, I'm home from hospital. In fact, I had my op Saturday and came home Monday but I've been convalescing since then. Which basically means I've been hobbling about the house doing not much at all and lying on the bed reading books. The anaesthetic and the copious amounts of morphine pumped into my body made me feel like hell on Sunday but now I'm good to go. Well, ish. Things are good. I'm pleased. I'm grateful. I'm trying to stop myself from wanting more all the time, wanting to be better faster, right now. I should be over the moon with where I am right now, cos it's pretty awesome.
XXX

Brownies and body issues

No idea who's artwork this is, sorry.

I've been making chocolate brownies. I'm no master baker (that term always makes me snigger), in fact I'm a complete novice, but they are AWESOME. 

I got the recipe from Emily Martin's blog and it's good but equally importantly it's very, very easy. I had a toddler in the room 'helping' and it was still do-able. I ate about five (I know, I know, but they were on the small side) and then I felt... guilty. What is it with us girls and food? Then coincidentally I read Gala Darling's post on body image and blogging (specifically fashion blogging but I think it applies to anyone who puts themselves out there). It's true that most successful bloggers who post about their personal lives look a certain way. I suppose we like looking at attractive people but I do think that confidence has lots to do with it. Of course there are girls who are beautiful but not skinny and model-like who have a successful online presence but I reckon there are loads of girls who don't post pictures of themselves because they don't feel good enough. I had a blog previously to this one, before I had my little girl. I posted pictures of myself happily then, now I feel differently. I'm not entirely sure why but it's probably something to do with the fact that I'm not a (UK) size 8-10 anymore. I've had a problem with my back which has meant I can't exercise till I've had some surgery and that certainly hasn't helped with the way I feel about my butt right now. But girls, it's all about confidence and self esteem, that's the trick, that's where the magic is. Those girls look great not just because they're pretty but because they know how to rock it. I know I love the blogs of real girls who are just like me, real girls who do amazing things, wear kick-ass outfits, paint gorgeous pictures, have the sweetest families and generally live their lives like the superstars that they are. But saying it is one and thing and doing it another, finding a way to feel great about how we look and who we are, well that's the holy grail. Any ideas? (And oh my god, those brownies are so good.) 
XXX

Beginning takes a long time...

Found this quote over at artistmotherteacher and it really struck a chord with me. You know that feeling when you think that something is just not good enough and you feel like whacking yourself across the head with a rolled up copy of yesterday's paper? I hate that feeling, and I don't even get a paper so I'd have to borrow one. Like Ira says, 'the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work'. Stop thinking, whatever it is you want to do just get down and dirty and do it.
XXX