5 Oct 2011

blogging and the bad stuff

 I love getting comments on my posts. It's a great feeling to know that someone out there's reading them and is at least vaguely interested. There are some amazing and utterly inspiring girls out there whose blogs I visit and who sometimes come and say 'hello' by dropping in on mine. 

 Thank you ladies! It's always a pleasure to meet you. 

 But then, once in a while, there are the comments that make you go 'mmmmm', the ones that have a masked aggression or a sarcastic tone. I admit I'm lucky to have avoided that so far, probably because not that many people read my blog, but the other day I noticed a comment that made me a tiny bit unsure about the way it was intended. Not that it was out and out bitchy at all, just a leetle bit snarky. Anyway, it got me thinking, about what I write about in this blog and about what kind of image I'm projecting here.

 I know what pisses me off about certain blogs, no matter how much I love them or how cool the author is. It riles me when people's lives are protrayed as being uber-perfect, whatever kind of lifestyle they have chosen to project. These blogs are so inspiring but can also make me feel a little inadequate, like one of life's losers, even though I realise that even the most sorted, confident, beautiful and successful of us have mood swings, disasters, illnesses and annoying habits just like we all do. Now, I'm not saying that I've set myself up as having a 'perfect' life here at all (I wish) I'm just wondering if I need to show a bit more of the shit that goes on in my life as well as the lovely stuff. Cos, there's a lot of shit, believe me. And doesn't make that make life more interesting? The way that we're growing and learning all the time, looking for the beauty and the love in life even through the not-so-great times?

 But then... I do find I return to the 'beautiful lives' blogs again and again. The ones that hold the promise of a life more lovely. The ones that make my tummy ache a little because it's all so damn perfect.

 I don't know what the answer is. I suppose sharing and promoting the good things in life is a good primary motivator but then I can't turn my blogging back on the darker side of life either, or the hum drum side, or the ugly side, not completely. 

 Life isn't all perfect days out and new shoes and macaroons and thrifting that perfect coffee table and constantly being the confident, self- worshipping goddess that we'd all like to be.

 But then how much of the truth do you put into your blog? Are you writing almost as a character, self-editing your life for the pages of your blog, or as yourself as best you can? Yourself with a hangover, and PMT, and backache, and when your best friend is pissing you off? When you're lonely or sad and wondering what the hell to do with your life?

 What do you think?


  1. I think people go to certain blogs because it's an escape full of pretty pictures, expensive baubles and a beautiful blogger who lives in a world class city. That being said, those who expect more flawed and realistic portrayals probably shouldn't frequent those types of blogs? I like hearing people's disappointments or embarrassments every once and a while but my own life is full of them. I guess I just like finding inspiration when I venture out into the blogosphere and Not necessarily hard, gritty realities.

  2. I want people to be honest, but I think that sometimes anything that's less than pretty in our lives often involves other people and my rule is that nobody else's business gets put on my blog. I often don't write about the harder times not in any attempt to pretend to my readers that I don't have them (I do!) but because I'm already in my head with them and I don't necessarily want to be on the internet with them too :) I say, write what you want to write, when you feel comfortable writing it!

  3. I love it when people are honest, but they can do it in a way that is nonjudgmental and not hurtful. Be nice about it, you know? Haters will always be out there, so you just need to ignore them. The lovers more than make up for it. :)

    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  4. while it's nice to look at perfect pictures, it's actually hard to get to know the person behind the blog. it's something i've been aware of lately as i'm not really sure how my blog comes across since while my weekend pictures may look like my life is perfect, it's far from it(as demonstrated in today's post). i definitely want ot be more open about things now that i have a few regular people who read my blog (even if the numbers are still very small).
    just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the haters (or the sarcastic commenters).

  5. Hi, Ive never read anything so true, we all love looking at blogs of those whose lives seem perfect, it cheers us up I guess. We never want to expose our less than perfect selfs, I love your blog and applaud you for not being afraid to open yourself up:)

  6. While I too like to go and look at the 'perfect peoples' blogs, I find myself returning less and less, simply because they're not relatable. I prefer honesty more; people with lives that aren't perfect but who are trying to make the best of them. The trouble with blogging is that we can't please everyone. I think that the best thing is to write for yourself. You may not get as many followers, but the ones that you do get will love every word that you write :)

  7. Oh my word, I had the exact same situation a year ago - I received a really judgemental comment, and it made me question what exactly my blog is for, and what I include, and how I present myself and my life - I wrote a post, [not as eloquent as your one!], but pretty much reaching the same conclusions!!
    I don't necessarily want to read about the lives of "perfect people." [And I definitely do not pretend to be one!!!] I want to read about colourful, magical, mischievous, poetic people, whose lives are full of difficult decisions, taking risks, sweeping romances, deep questions AND a bit of sparkle!
    PS. By this measure, I adore your blog.

  8. PS. And I just remembered this, as well!
    I was intrigued by this article I read:
    "A boring life does not an A-list blog make. In order to create a successful blog, you need to also architect a life that other people want to pay attention to... If you live a boring life, no one cares. Sorry."
    Do you think that's true??