13 Aug 2011

Stretching my wings

 It's been nearly 6 weeks since I had surgery and I'm really feeling the need to get back to normality. It hasn't been a bad time, not at all, in fact lots of lovely things have happened, but now I'm itching to stretch my wings and get some freedom back. It's hard having to rely on others so much when you're used to doing your own thing but you just gotta roll with it and be present in the moment (that's the hard bit, not yearning to move on too quickly and aching for things to be different all the time). But right now I am yearning to move on, and that's ok because it's time to take a few cautious steps back to normality. 

 Back in January I made a list of things I'd like to achieve this year. Unfortunately, I flunked many of them within a matter of days when I hurt my back (learning to surf? Forget it! Marathon running? Ha ha!) and the other less physical goals were also casualties of my mishap (I couldn't even sit up to draw for quite some time so getting work together for an exhibition was impossible). 

  But my situation made one thing on my list easily achievable and this one thing really did enrich my life and became quite precious; I meditated each and every day throughout the months I was in pain and stuck indoors and I swear it helped me remain positive and sane. That period of my life gave me the time and the space to practice sitting still and clearing away the chatter inside my head. Good things coming out of bad, it's a cliche, but a true one. Now, life, normal happy, funny, sad, exciting, tiring life, is getting in the way once more and I'm afraid that in these last days and weeks I've found it hard to commit to that 20 minutes sat quietly with myself. I need to continue down that path, I need to find a way to keep that good thing in my life. 

 Do any of you meditate? Before this last couple of years I wouldn't have been remotely interested but people and circumstances change and hand on heart I can now say it honestly has huge benefits. I'd love to hear if any of you have found it makes your life lovelier. And how do you fit it into your lives?


  1. a few months ago, i started looking into meditation classes and then somehow life got in the way and I haven't pursued it since. It's definitely something I want to add to my life though, i think it's really important to just be still on a regular basis.

    glad to hear you're on your way to recovery. My partner's sister has had a bad back for a few years and meditation was actually one of the things suggested to her to help with the pain. She's a bit impatient though and I'm not sure how long she was able to sit still though!

  2. People who can't sit still and are always rushing around are probably the people who get the most out of meditation I think! You should def try some classes, you'll love it I'm sure.

  3. I used to meditate a lot, and it made such a difference. I slowly gave it up though, and after reading this I realise how much healthier I was when I took that time to relax.

  4. I do know exactly what you mean about itching to stretch your wings after surgery. It is both a frustrating and also extraordinary time.
    I haven't tried meditation although I do yoga most mornings and a do-it-yourself guided visualisation when I can't sleep.

  5. this was really interesting. i don't meditate, but i do pray, and i've always found that to be the best solution. xx